The planet Styx was a bit of an
enigma. It was a dark planet, circling a dark star in a dark star
system. Everyone knew it was there, but no one actually knew where
it was without the help of those who lived there, and the residents
of Styx usually pretended that they weren't there.
In some sense they weren't. Styx used
to be a normal planet in a normal star system. However, some three
thousand years prior, an incident involving a dark matter reactor, a
graviball and what was suspected to be a copious amount of alcohol
had blown them out of sync with the rest of the universe.
Theoretically, they had yet to figure out how to blast the whole
thing back into it. Popular opinion suggested they just didn't feel
like it, after all, they had figured out how to move their ships back
and forth between their part of the universe and everyone elses.
Wembly assumed that Styx could move back into normal space whenever
they wanted, but they just didn't feel like dealing with the Empire.
Not that he blamed them in anyway. That didn't mean that they
weren't going to have to deal with him today.
“Alright boys,” announced Wembly,
“are you all good and shnockered?”
“Aye, sir,” they all slurred while
gesturing at two empty kegs of Siren Summer Ale and a half empty
barrel of Dijo whiskey.
“Excellent! This is a galaxy class
karaoke machine. It contains two million songs from all across the
universe. And these are sonic tennis balls, they multiply every time
you sing off key. Have fun turning the Wingnut into a ball pit.”
“Enjoy,” said Wembly while putting
in ear plugs and cranking the volume all the way up.
After a few moments of some song
Wembly couldn't even begin to identify, tennis balls covered the
entire deck and were beginning to role off the sides of the ship. He
also noticed that the cylonicals were detaching from the hull and
trying to float away. He smiled, they disliked Bad Vibrations.
Some twenty minutes and the beginnings
of a serious headache later, the sonic tennis balls had filled up the
entire lower sheild below the dirigible and his crew was taking turns
jumping into it. The music, had also gotten worse. Suddenly, Wembly
heard a howling.
“Well that took long enough,” said
Wembly to no one in particular.
“This is the Styx cruiser Shibu Inu,
please turn off the noise, you are being boarded.”
